Many parents shy away from divorce because they worry about custody. Almost everyone has heard tragic stories in which parents lose their relationships with their children as a result of divorce. People share exaggerated stories in which one parent denies the other time with the children out of spite or vindictiveness.
People sometimes stay in truly unhappy, unhealthy relationships because they don’t want to gamble with the bond they have with their children. Contrary to the exaggerated stories that many people share, the courts generally do not like to see one parent attempting to alienate the other from their shared children.
Sole custody arrangements are relatively uncommon in modern family law cases. When might judges agree that sole custody arrangements are appropriate for a family?
When parents settle their own terms
Despite what many people assume, state laws do not give preference to one parent or sex over the other. Both parents generally have the same basic rights and opportunities in a shared custody scenario.
However, it is somewhat common for one parent to give up their rights and agree to a sole custody arrangement. Technically, parents have the authority to establish whatever custody terms they believe are in the best interests of their children. Parents who don’t ask for parenting time and authority may end up regretting that decision later.
When there are safety concerns
It is relatively rare for a family law judge to award one parent’s sole custody in a litigated custody case. Such outcomes typically only occur in scenarios where there are concerns about the children’s well-being.
A parent asking for sole custody typically needs documentation showing that the other parent is unstable or that they have a history of abusing or neglecting the children. Medical evidence, police reports and testimony from witnesses could help support allegations that one parent has a substance abuse disorder or a volatile temper that makes them unfit for fully shared custody.
If the parent seeking sole custody does not have compelling evidence, then a judge is unlikely to acquiesce to their demands. In some cases, judges may even consider the attempt to limit the other parent’s access when making custody decisions. A parent who has demonstrated an inability to put the best interests of the children first might actually receive less parenting time and authority.
Actively fighting for shared child custody is often the first step toward maintaining a positive relationship with children despite a divorce. Parents who assert themselves can protect their rights and play an important role in the upbringing of their children.