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How to manage an estate’s beneficiaries and heirs

On Behalf of | Oct 3, 2024 | Probate & Estate Administration |

Being the executor of someone’s estate is a big honor – but it’s also a big responsibility. 

Aside from the normal challenges that go along with making sure that an estate is properly probated, you may also have to deal with impatient, distrustful or even aggressive beneficiaries and heirs. 

What can you do about it when a beneficiary or heir is problematic?

Since you’re the executor, they may see you as personally responsible for any holdups in the estate distribution process or anything else that displeases them. However, it’s not your job to make them happy – it’s your job to see that the estate is handled according to the law and the deceased’s final wishes.

To that end, it’s important to do the following:

  • Set clear expectations: Most people are unfamiliar with the probate process, so they don’t realize that the distribution of an estate is not something that can be done quickly or informally. Let the beneficiaries and heirs of the estate know that probate can take months, and you will give them regular updates so that they can track the progress.
  • Limit communications: Don’t engage directly with a beneficiary or heir who is hostile toward you. If someone is angry because you won’t let them search through their mother’s things or take the coin collection their father “always promised” to them, it’s better to document all your conversations. Insist on communication via electronic means so that you can keep a record.
  • Don’t engage in drama: No matter what your personal opinions, don’t take sides or get drawn into personal disputes between family members who are reviving old grievances. Step out of those conversations and let them know you will not participate in anything that isn’t estate-related. 

If a beneficiary threatens you with legal action or accuses you of misconduct, legal guidance can help you know what steps to take to protect yourself from baseless claims.